The Wishing Floor
Many years ago – more years on paper than in reality – I used to work as an English teacher. I mean a fake English teacher, not a real one. No fancy qualifications for me, just a jolly useful Mother Tongue and an introductory TEFL certificate. One of the things that was gold dust to us – a gang of misfit anglophone post-grads on the Euro-piss – was anything that could be used to pass time in class.
One of my favourites was a list of bad English found in foreign parts. This was a hilarious list of mistakes and comedy signs that are now pretty standard fayre in annoying jokey emails. In those days they were virtually unknown – and the better for it. Nowadays an email showing a literal translation of some Bongo-Bongo-Land public toilet sign saying something like “You Do The Shitting Here” is everyday enough to be not even funny anymore.
That said, the omnipresence of such photo humour should jerk foreign sign writers, leaflet printers and menu translators to double-check before they subject us all to such delights as “Cows Arse With Poo Sauce” or whatever.
Anyway, my favourite was from a sign in a Japanese Hotel. The helpful information aided bemused customers in the operation of the lift. Guests were invited to select “The Wishing Floor” – I guess they meant the desired floor, but that doesn’t sound quite so sweet.
I loved that. I loved the idea of there being a magical floor where wishes come true. I travelled to Japan years later and looked for The Wishing Floor, but never found it.
I imagine you’ve been able to see English translations in Japanese electric appliances. If you haven’t, just have a try…
Jose
October 17, 2009 at 09:05
I remember a book produced by the Ayuntamiento de Gijón about the delights of that northern town – it was hilarious to read the flowery poetic Spanish literally translated into the much more workmanlike English. Especially as Gijón is no beauty.
Translations are often funny, but it amazes me that they don’t check. Even in Barajas Airport, one of the world’s leading airports, the automatic announcer says “In order to give the airport another air” which makes no sense in English.
zhisou
October 17, 2009 at 09:10
I *love* the wishing floor, I am going to select it the next time I am in a lift. I will let you know if I get there…
nmj
October 17, 2009 at 13:07
I have been searching for the Wishing Floor ever since. Good luck with your search.
zhisou
October 17, 2009 at 14:52
i don’t think anything could sound quite as dreamy as The Wishing Floor…
thedailydish
October 19, 2009 at 04:15
Thanks Dish – the phrase stuck with me for years, I always say it to myself when I get in a lift (elevator) and press the button.
I hope you’re impressed with my American translation skills.
zhisou
October 22, 2009 at 19:07