Ghosts and Ghouls
These social networking sites are downright scary. So many ghosts from the past popping up out the blue, looking older, looking good, looking like they’re so terribly pleased with all the twists and turns their life has taken. I’m not on Facebook – not because I sit above all this ghoulish e-curtain-twitching, I don’t, but because I cannot afford to waste even more time fannying around on the Internet.
When “Friends Reunited” launched – what, a decade ago? – I gleefully buzzed down the list of old classmates and trawled through their histories to see what they’d done since I’d last seen them. But then that ended, the zero add-on functions meant it palled quickly once the rush of registrants waned. I still get emails from “Sally” trying to tempt me back, but I resist her tigress charms and go about my business.
My opposition to this social networking malarkey is known – we talked about it on a podcast the other day – it’s not dogmatic or principled, it’s just practical – it’s a waste of time, it’s a public shopwindow where privacy is nil, and it’s chock-full of rubbish like sheep throwing, e-hugging and quizzes and puzzles. Even sober and professional LinkedIn can get you with its groups and discussions and competitive maximisation of connections to prove how ace you are.
Even there there’s a certain ghoulish schadenfreude and nosy parkerness in seeing how well everyone else is doing on the ladder of success.
Oh well. That’s progress for you.
Another step forward in the old progress department is the widespread acceptance of Hallowe’en in Spain. It’s funny to see a Catholic country, a people with absolutely no understanding of us northern Anglo-Saxon types and our cold strange culture, embrace a Pagan festival of horror. The door just buzzed now, a knot of cheeky urchins on the scrounge for sweets. That’s the thing about Spain, if there’s a bit of dressing up, food and festivalising to be done, they’re guaranteed to crowbar it into the calendar.
Personally I prefer to fanny about on the Internet.
The first time I went on Friends Reunited – about 7 years ago, I think – I found out that my first serious boyfriend had recently died of a brain haemorrhage. It felt odd to find out in this way. Still, I think FU has probably been replaced by Facebook by now. Does anyone still use FU? I used to hate Facebook, all the ’snowball throwing’ and ‘hugs sending’, but if you ignore that stuff it is a nice, cosy platform where you can be as private or public as you like. Most people have 500 friends, but I have 30 – I am only friends with people I know in real life. BTW I love your noun ‘nosey parkerness’.
nmj
October 31, 2009 at 22:17
“Nosy parkerness” was me giving up on finding the right word to follow “Nosy parker” – I wanted something more like “Nosy parker schadenfreude”, but I’d just used the word and wanted to squeeze ghoulish in again, so I gave up and just stuck “ness” on the end – having also wanted to use the phrase “nosy parker” for ages. It took me ages to decide all that – no wonder I don’t have time for Facebook.
zhisou
November 1, 2009 at 10:03
Sharp as always, Zhisou. LOL
Jose
November 1, 2009 at 12:47
Hmph. I thought I had figured out who you are, but who I thought you were is on Facebook. So you either need to stop lying, or I need to do some recalculating.
plumpdumpling
November 2, 2009 at 16:58
Thanks Jose.
Plumpdumpling, thanks for calling in and commenting. I am not on Facebook, I am not lying, though I am tempted to start following NMJ’s comment above.
zhisou
November 2, 2009 at 17:59
Ugh, don’t get me started on Facebook. If I want to blather on and on about myself or my (lack of) accomplishments, I have my own soapbox to stand on. Long Live BLOGS!
PS: I think the last time I heard somebody brandish the term “fannying about” it was 1989. I’m pretty sure it was my grandma. I thought you were a youngish male. What does it say on your facebook page?
thedailydish
November 3, 2009 at 01:33
I am a youngish male, but a youngish male with a love of old-fashioned Grandmarian expressions.
zhisou
November 3, 2009 at 06:13
Hah! Thank you little boy, now be a dear and hand me that box from the top shelf.
PS: Grammie also says “give me some sugar” instead of “kiss” — you’ll have to try that one out on your wife & daughters — always thought it was cute!
thedailydish
November 3, 2009 at 15:55
Give me some sugar? I just say “kiss” in a demanding voice. Seems to work.
zhisou
November 4, 2009 at 19:41